Dearest Blog....

how I have neglected thee... and so many other things these past few months including, myself! However, I hope that's all changing. I'm even posting some new pictures. We've done a few things this past weekend. We took a trip to Capitol Reef and went hiking for Kyle's birthday. We came home and had a couple of beautiful warms days so we took our first Jeep ride of the year with friends. Needless to say, it's dang cold today. That's how Utah is... warm one minute, cold the next! I've also starting walking every night with my friend Ann. I do a lot better at going when I have someone to go with me. It's hard to get to the gym because I have to be to work so early that I don't have time to go in the mornings. I try to go a lunch but that doesn't work and then if I go at night, I feel guilty for leaving Ava because I'm gone all day as it is. It feels like this is such a catch 22, no right answer. So needless to say, I've been trying to do some different things at home and then just walk at night. It must be starting to work because I've lost 10 pounds already YIPPY!!!!!

Things at work are much better. We won't be doing any furloughs our benefits are supposed to go up a little but that's the least of my worries. I've worked in the private sector before and I'll tell you what, I listen to some of the older people that I work with complain about the benefits going up a few dollars and all I think to myself is they have no idea how good they really have it. I'm just glad and so thankful that we have health insurance. Kyle also finally has a job offer. It doesn't start until sometime in April. We don't have all of the details yet so I'll let you know once I know more. I still have some leery feelings about him going to work with an old business associate. He's going to talk with the company this week and see if he could get on a different shift then him. If he can, I think it will be all good. If not, I'd almost rather have him unemployed... how sad is that! I wish I could go into details about the previous business associate but it just makes me a bitch when I think about what happened so I won't do that tonight.

Anyhow... here's some new pictures. The first couple of pictures are from my dad. I love the big trees in the Redwood's.

Jeep Ride

Urs & Franki

Shanan

So tired

Shanan & Franki

Capitol Reef

Blooming Trees

Petroglyphs

Well....

I am battling some new challenges this week. I just feel like I keep getting kicked harder when I'm already down. It doesn't feel like it is ever going to end or we're ever going to catch a little break. I know that there are a lot of other people out there who are in the same boat that we're in right now and I empathize with them. So, I'm thinking of getting another job. It hurts so bad to think that I might have to do this. I'm already away from Ava more then I should be. There are a lot of adolescent group homes where I live and since I already work with troubled youth, I pretty much have the job if I want it. I just need to get back to them and let them know. I'm really really struggling with this right now. If I do take the job, it will put me back a year or so on my graduate degree as well as a lot more time away from the home... and at my job with the state, it's possible that I might have to take a mandatory furlough of 8 hours per month for a year and that my insurance premiums will go up as well. If that is the case, I really have no other choice but to take a second job. I've also went back on my birth control pills... so no baby right now either! I'm also really struggling with that one. There are just so many things I'd like to post right now but it would be from emotions and not logically thinking so I'm not going to post some of those things. So.. how's that for a pity party???

There are some positives though. Ava can sing her ABC's, count to 20 in both English and Spanish and she's only 3 years old! I'm so proud of her. She's such a smart little cookie. She loves to sing songs, dance and play. She's my little sunshine and the light of my life. She's has such a cute personality and a very creative imagination. She drew me a picture on her closet doors. So instead of being the big bad mommy and getting mad, I joined her and we drew a picture together. I told her that tomorrow we were going to paint and once painted, she couldn't draw anymore and she said "okay mommy". I just think with all of the stressors in my house right now, she can feel the stress as well and I think it relieved a lot of stress for both of us. I really don't think she'll ever do it again. If she does, I'll probably have to get mad next time. She's just growing up so fast. Mommy loves you sweet Ava!

So... there's my life in a nutshell right now. I'm hoping for some good weather in the next few days so we can go outside to play and take some pictures. I'll post pictures once I get some. Hope all is well. I'm going to bed! Loves...

Hello Everyone....

I know I promised pictures awhile ago but I haven't had time to hardly even sleep let alone post pictures. However, I will try to get to it very soon.

The abode is still the same. However, I did finally get part of my kitchen painted. This has been a work in progress since I moved into the home. I didn't realize how bad the walls were until I started trying to prep them to paint. Needless to say, we're still mudding trying to fix some of the walls so they'll look good once painted. I forgot how much work older homes were to remodel, even something just as simple as painting is a royal pain in a home where the walls are totally crooked. Oh well... I'm finally getting it! I'd post more about the home life but it really hasn't changed and is just getting more frustrating day by day. We're working through things but again, I'm just frustrated so I'll leave it at that for tonight. The work life is the same, totally busy. This is very good because of job security but also very bad because it means there are a lot more families that are in dysfunction right now.

I finished another class and pretty happy about that especially since I got an "A". Oh... for those of you who need college text books, go to http://www.cheapesttextbooks.com/ you'll seriously save TONS! Well... better go hang with the family. Hope all is well with everyone. I'm hoping that I'm back to myself very soon and once I'm back to myself, that means I'll blog more again. Loves to all....